Should've Never
by pOIsOn cAndI
Summary: Buffy's engaged to Riley Finn. She's only 19, but she knows she's in love with the twenty-four year old Iowa native. That is, until she meets her college professor Mr. "Spike" Anderson. AU BR, BS, WO, XA
1. Prologue

title: Should've Never  
  
summary: Buffy's engaged to Riley Finn. she's only 19, but she knows she's in love with the twenty-four year old Iowa native. that is, until she meets her college professor Mr. "Spike" Anderson.  
  
disclaimer: everyone who is from BtVS belongs to Joss and Co.  
  
a/n: i know there are stories up right now similar to this idea. But i honestly did not copy. i got this idea from J Lo's song "Should've Never". excuse any mistakes in my writing...

* * *

Buffy Summers walked into the small apartment she shared with her fiance, Riley Finn. She was young, 19 years old, and beautiful. With her blonde hair that just passed her shoulders, her emerald green eyes and her curves, she was the girl of many guys dreams, but only one had her.  
  
And she loved him. Her friends found it hard to believe that she wanted to settle down at such a young age, but she assured them, she wasn't settling. Just because she was engaged, didn't mean she was married. And just because she was in love, didn't mean she couldn't persue her dreams.  
  
"Riley?" she called, as she laid her bag down on the chair as she walked by it.  
  
"Hi," he said, coming out of the bedroom. "You're home early."  
  
"Is that a disappointment?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his torso.  
  
He kissed the top of her head. "More like a pleasant surprise."  
  
"How was work?"  
  
He sighed. "Same as usual. My father was riding me about a case that I still haven't had time to look at. He thinks that I'm a super lawyer, and can do ten things at once. But, I'm only human."  
  
Riley was a 24 year old successful lawyer at his father's law firm. He used to be in the military, but when his knee was injured, he was forced to leave. That made his father happy however, and soon Riley was in college studying to be a lawyer.  
  
The couple was told at times that they wouldn't make it. They were two seperate people, and that just wouldn't work. But looking back on the last two years, they both knew that fact played a big role in their relationship.  
  
"I was thinking we could go out tonight," he said, leaving her side and walking into the kitchen.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Buffy said, following him over and sitting down in a chair.  
  
"Yeah. I saw this restaurant on my way home. I think it's new and..."  
  
"Riley? I, uh, I can't," she said. "I-I want to, but I can't. See, tomorrow I start at UC Sunnydale, and I was going to go over to Willow's... I suppose I could call her and..."  
  
Riley shook his head. "We can go some other night. This is more important."  
  
She smiled. "Did I ever tell you how great of a boyfriend you were?"  
  
"You're not so bad yourself," he said, walking over to her and kissing her.  
  
Their kiss was interrupted when the phone began to rang. Buffy sighed, and watched as Riley parted from her and answered the phone.  
  
"Hello? Oh, hey Forrest. Yeah, I am... Hold on a sec," he put the phone to his chest and looked over at Buffy. "I have to take this."  
  
Buffy nodded. "Business talk. Go ahead."  
  
He smiled at her and kissed her quickly before returning to his phone call and disappearing from the room. Buffy sank down into her chair. He always had business to take care of. She wasn't saying that he didn't love her, she knew he did. But sometimes she just felt like he loved his business more.  
  
"You're just tired Buff," she told herself as she stood up. "I think I could fit in a small nap before Willow's."

* * *

a/n: Well, that's the prologue. Um, how did you like? Like enough to want more? Tell me, please! 


	2. Crush

Buffy woke up in Willow's bed, and looked next to her to see the red head still asleep. Buffy yawned, stretched, and managed to roll out of bed. She glanced at the alarm clock and it read 5:48am. Rubbing her eyes, she headed over to the bathroom that was connected to Willow's room (a/n: I know... or I don't think she actually has one, but go with me here...).  
  
She reached over the bath tub, and turned the water on. Turning back to the door, she closed it and locked it, letting the steam fill the bathroom like a sauna.  
  
Today was her first day at UC Sunnydale, and she wanted to look nice. That's why she woke so early, and she knew she needed a nice, long, warm bath to keep her up.

* * *

Willow pulled into the parking lot of the college in her sporty red mustang convertible (a/n: I know, Willow with a convertible? Willow with a car even? But again, go with me...). She looked over at her blonde friend and put a hand over hers in reasurance.  
  
"You'll do fine Buffy," she said. "Don't look so nervous."  
  
"You're one to talk," Buffy said, undoing her seatbelt. "You're the one who stayed up half the night planning every second of this day."  
  
"So I like to be organized," Willow said. "That's what you get in the Willow package. I never told you to be my friend."  
  
Buffy smiled. "Oh but the nerdy ones were the only one who didn't think I was totally weird," Buffy said, jokingly.  
  
Buffy and Willow jumped when someone tapped on Willow's window. Both of them looked over, and relaxed when they saw it was only Willow's boyfriend, Oz. He was short, with spikey red hair. They had been dating only for a year, but were just as serious as Buffy and Riley.  
  
"Way to scare us Oz," Buffy said, climbing out of the car and looking over it at him.  
  
"I didn't mean to interrupt, you two seemed to be deep in conversation," he said. "But we do have class to get to."  
  
"Our conversation was very deep, thank you," Buffy said. "We were discussing how much of a nerd Will was in high school."  
  
"A cute nerd," Oz said, kissing her cheek.  
  
Willow blushed, and took his hand as the three headed towards the college doors. It almost felt like high school again, except for their missing friend, Xander Harris. He didn't start college, and instead got a job working in construction. His girlfriend, Anya Jenkins didn't mind it though. In her words "it gives him more time to give me more orgasms".  
  
"I have Creative Writing first," Buffy said, looking down at her schedule then back up at her friends.  
  
"Me too!" Willow said, cheerfulily. "What do you have Oz?"  
  
"Sociology," he said.  
  
"Wow, that's supposed to be tough, isn't it?" Buffy asked, and he just shrugged.  
  
"Oz is smart," Willow said, a big smile on her face.  
  
Buffy laughed. "Well, here's our class."  
  
Willow looked at Oz and he let go of her hand. "I'll meet you in the cafeteria at lunch."  
  
"Okay," she said, and watched as he walked away before turning to Buffy. "This is so exciting! Our first class as college fresmen!"  
  
Buffy smiled, trying to pretend like she was as happy. "Let's hope we don't get a cranky old teacher," she mumbled as she followed Willow into the classroom.  
  
The two took seats in the middle, and looked around at the people scattered about. There were about fifteen other students in there besides them at the moment, and Willow looked to her watch, noting that they still had five minutes.  
  
"I wonder what the teacher's like," Willow said.  
  
"Hopefully it isn't the type that likes to give homework on the first day," Buffy said. "Or the type that bores you to death and wish you had a gun handy so you could shoot yourself."  
  
"Where's that college spirit?" Willow asked. "Did you have a fight with Riley?"  
  
"What? No. Everything with me and Riley is great. Better then great," she said.  
  
"That's great," Willow said. "So, are you bronzing with us tonight? It-It would be like... Back in high school. The whole gang together again."  
  
"How could I miss?" Buffy said. "For sure I'll be there."  
  
Willow smiled and turned to the front of the room when the bell rang. The girls waited fo a teacher to show up, and a blonde guy walking into the room caught her eye. He was tall, and dressed in casual clothes, a black shirt, and black dressy pants that hung loosely from his legs. His blue eyes were a unique colour that Buffy had never seen before, and his high cheek bones were to die for.  
  
_Wow_, she thought. _Please sit by me, please sit by me. No! Buffy, what are you thinking? You already have a boyfriend. A very loving boyfriend. You can't think of other guys. Oh, but he's so... No, stop. Stop right now!_  
  
"'Ello class," the guy who had caught Buffy's attention began, standing in front of the room.  
  
"What? _He's_ the teacher?" Buffy whispered to Willow.  
  
"Appears so," Willow replied.  
  
"My name's Mr. Anderson, but please, call me Spike. I'll be your Creative Writing teacher for the semester, and I do hope I'm not a bore. I will try and make this class as enjoyable as possible."  
  
_You could stand there all day and not say anything and it would be very enjoyable_, Buffy drooled.  
  
"Please don't shoot me when I say this, but I'd all like for you to each take an assignment," he said, handing a bunch of papers to someone in the front row. "It's only small. And more so of a "get to know you" type thing, then homework."  
  
Buffy took one, and handed them to the person behind her. She looked down at it, and skimmed through it as he kept talking.  
  
"You must write a poem or song about something in your life that you love. It could be about a girlfriend, boyfriend, mother or dog, whatever you wish."  
  
_Can I write about my sexy new teacher? No, stop. You can't think of him Buffy, you should be thinking of Riley. That's right, I shall right about Riley. Because I love him._  
  
"What are you going to write about?" Willow whispered to Buffy.  
  
Buffy hesitated a minute. "R-Riley. You?"  
  
"Oz," Willow said happily. "Who else? Xander?"  
  
Buffy laughed, a bit louder then she'd expected. For some reason she found it funnier then it really was. Embarrassed that she'd interrupted Spike's lesson and gotten the attention of the whole class, she tried to sink down into her seat and disappear. Unfortunately, that was impossible.  
  
"May I ask what you find so funny Miss..." Spike said.  
  
"Summers. Buffy Summers," she said. "I'm sorry. My friend... She just, said something... And it wasn't meant to be _that_ funny."  
  
He smiled. "'S quite alright luv. I think your embarrassment has taught you a lesson."  
  
She smiled back and thanked him in her head for not making a big deal out of it.  
  
"May I continue, Buffy Summers?" he asked, and she simply nodded.  
  
_Oh lordy_, she thought. _I think I have a crush on my teacher._


	3. Who I Love

leostorm- thank you so much, i'm so glad you like it  
  
kelley- glad you like it so far... he is fun to make as a teacher isn't he lol  
  
disclaimer: the poem _does_ belong to me...i wrote it in like two seconds to go with this...ignore it, lol...and pretend it's good ;) please

* * *

Buffy walked into her Creative Writing class and looked around for Willow. She was waving for Buffy to come over, and Buffy smiled at her before hurrying across the front of the room and up the stairs to the seats they had sat in yesterday.  
  
"How did your poem turn out?" Willow asked.  
  
"Um... Okay," Buffy said.  
  
"I'm sure it's great," Willow said. "I always liked your writing."  
  
"The only thing you ever read was the story I wrote when I was six," she said, smiling.  
  
"It was a very touching story."  
  
"It was about a boy who broke his friend's crayon," Buffy laughed.  
  
"It brought back memories," Willow said. "Now hush, class is starting."  
  
"I hope you all completed your assignments," Spike said, closing the door behind him as he walked inside just as the bell rang. "But, if not, it will be forgotten for it's only your first day and not a big project."  
  
_Maybe I could say I didn't do it_, Buffy thought.  
  
"Alright..." he said. "Why don't we start with Miss Summers?"  
  
"Me?" Buffy whispered, and Willow gave her an encouraging smile.  
  
"Yeah you, stand up."  
  
Buffy swallowed, and stood up, gripping her paper. _Too late to use an excuse_, she thought. _He knows you have it now_.  
  
"Go ahead," Spike said, leaning on his desk.  
  
Buffy coughed.  
  
"Your love is what kept me strong,

Through the rough times I've been through.

When I needed a shoulder to cry on,

I knew I could always count on you.  
  
You're the person I can count on,

To catch me before I fall.

I know you'll always be there,

And help me through it all.  
  
Some people doubted our love,

And said we wouldn't last.

But we've stayed together for two years now,

And my heart's still beating fast.  
  
This poem is for you my love,

The one that brightens my day.

And forever do I hope,

It'll always be that way."  
  
As she finished, the class broke out in applause and Buffy could feel her cheeks redden. She had never read anything aloud to anyone before. Especially nothing she wrote herself. She didn't think it to be any good, but Spike had other views.  
  
"Very good Miss Summers," he said. "You may sit down."  
  
Buffy smiled and took her seat.

* * *

The bell rang signaling the end of class, and Buffy gathered her books and stood up, waiting for Willow. The two were the last ones in the classroom, and as they were walking down the stairs, Spike called Buffy's name. She stopped, and turned to face him.  
  
"I'll see you at lunch," Willow said, before smiling at her friend and disappearing.  
  
"What's up?" Buffy asked, walking over to Spike who stood in front of his desk.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you about your writing," he said.  
  
Buffy laughed. "Oh, that. Yeah, I'm sorry. I tried..."  
  
"No, no, no," he said. "You misinterpreted luv. It was very good. Impressing. I didn't know you had such talent. But then again, we have just met."  
  
"I like to write," Buffy said. "But I haven't lately... I've just been busy with Riley."  
  
"Riley?"  
  
"My fiance," she said. _Why did I tell him that? Now he thinks I'm not interested... No, Buffy. You're engaged! That's why you told him, cause you are. Duh. Not like you were gonna have a chance with Spike._  
  
"Fiance? But you can't be more then 19," he said.  
  
"I'm not. But, I love him. And he's not rushing me into anything, which I appreciate. He's really good to me."  
  
"As long as he treats you right, it shouldn't matter, eh pet?" he said. "Back to your writing... Did you ever think of getting any published?"  
  
"Published? Um... I've thought, more so... Dreamed. But it would never happen," she said, then looked down to her watch. "Oh, I have to go. I'm sorry."  
  
"'s quite alright luv," he said. "My class should be starting soon as well. Wouldn't want you to be late."  
  
"No, wouldn't want that," Buffy said, before turning to leave.  
  
"You know Buffy," he said, catching her attention. "If you really want something, if you put your mind and your heart into it, your dream, it can come true."  
  
Buffy nodded, but didn't turn to look at him. She waited a minute before starting to walk again and once outside of the room, stopped.  
  
_Not when you have Riley as a fiance..._ she thought.  
  
---------  
  
Buffy sat on Willow's bed, fiddling with the sheets beneath her. Riley had gone off to work and wasn't coming home until later that night, so Buffy had decided to go over to her friend's. She thought that maybe they could talk about things that were on her mind...  
  
"Hey Wills?" Buffy said, yelling to her friend who was in the bathroom.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can I tell you something?" she asked. "It's sort of... A problem."  
  
Willow stuck her head out of the bathroom. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Not that kind of problem..." Buffy said. "I think I... Well, I think I have a crush on Spike."  
  
Willow's jaw dropped, and she left the bathroom to sit by Buffy. "Are-Are you sure? I-I mean he's our teacher."  
  
"You say that like I don't know," Buffy said.  
  
"You're engaged!" Willow pointed out. "You can't be thinking of other men... Can you?"  
  
"No... Yes. I don't know. But I can't help my feelings. I'm not saying I'm in love with the man, that's just... Too much. But he is pretty hot isn't he?"  
  
Willow smiled. "Yes, he is good looking. Hey, don't give me that look, I'm not engaged."  
  
Buffy shook her head and stood up, pacing back and forth. "I know Will, and I feel horrible. Riley has never cheated on me, and never even looked at another woman. And here I am having bad thoughts about my teacher. _My teacher_. I'm such a bad person."  
  
"No, you're not. Don't say that. J-Just because your mind likes to... Explore, doesn't make you a bad person. You're just attracted to the opposite sex. That, that is uncontrollable. Riley will understand."  
  
"Riley can not find out about this!" Buffy said, sitting back down. "Will, you can't tell a single soul. Not even Xander."  
  
"Not even Xander? How big is this crush?" Willow asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
Buffy sighed. "Promise?"  
  
Willow nodded. "Your secrets safe with me."


	4. More Than Just a Crush

kelley- maybe james will decide acting isn't right for him (even though it totally is) and quit and become a professor so he could teach me when i'm in college... haha, well, you can dream, right? thank you for your review, i'm really glad you like my story, it's my first fic and i didn't think i'd get any good reviews  
  
elizance: thank you

* * *

Buffy laid in the bed she shared with Riley, staring up at the ceiling, lost in thought. She had gotten home from Willow's early that morning to find that Riley still wasn't home. That, or he had been home and gotten called. Whatever the reason, it didn't bother her as it might other days. She was glad to have some time to herself, time to think about things.  
  
Things like Spike. He was all that filled her mind since she'd first seen him in class two days ago. First it had been all about his looks, but now that she was starting to see his personality, she found herself falling head over heels. And that scared her. Because she had never had such strong feelings to another man besides Riley.  
  
Riley. She sighed, rolling over onto her side and staring at the picture of the happy couple that sat on the bedside table. Two years they were together, and still going strong. She loved him, and he loved her. It was the perfect relationship, one that every girl dreamed about.  
  
She still remembered the first day she meet him, he had swept her off her feet with just his smile. It was love at first site. Something Buffy had never believed in, until then.  
  
Her life was taking a downwards spiral. Her mother had just been admitted to the hospital for a brain tumor, she'd just pulled herself out of an abusive relationship, and the last thing on her mind was finding a boyfriend. But their attraction was undeniable, and soon he was everywhere she was. He made the pain go away, if only for a minute.  
  
And she wasn't doubting her love for Riley. Her heart belonged to him then, and it did to that day. But the new feelings she was forming for Spike were undeniable as well, and that frightened her. What was she going to do? Did she confront him about this? Tell him how much he was messing with her head?  
  
No. She couldn't do that, she couldn't let her feelings be known to anyone. Aside from Willow. Who would never tell a soul.  
  
_Am I in love with two men?_ she thought. _Wait, what? Love, no, this is just some silly crush I have... Right?_

* * *

uhh, sorry for the short chapter. but it's sort of just a... thought chapter?... i don't know... but that's the good thing about me, i update regularly ;)


	5. Unsettled

Buffy tossed around in bed that night, trying to get to sleep. But she kept having the feeling that someone was staring at her. Turning over onto her right side, she saw that someone was; Riley.  
  
"Can I help you?" she asked, a smile on her face.  
  
"I've been thinking," he said.  
  
_Oh no_, she thought. _Conversation? Now? But I'm sleepy... I had a hard day of avoiding my hot and sweet professor. And it was hard, considering he's determined to talk to me... Maybe he likes... No, Riley, speaking, listen._  
  
"Oh yeah?" she asked, sitting up and resting her back on the headboard. "About what?"  
  
"I was eating lunch today," he started. "And I saw this woman in a booth in front of me."  
  
"Do I want to hear this?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Are you cheating?"  
  
"No," he said, putting a hand on her arm in reassurance. "She had a child, a newborn. And it made me want one. I want to have a family Buffy."  
  
Buffy sighed. "Riley, we've talked about this. I'm only 19, I'm not ready to settle down and have kids just yet. I want to, in the future, but I'm just not... I thought you understood."  
  
He nodded and laid back down. "But to think that we can actually create life by... It's just an amazing thought."  
  
"You keep thinking those amazing thoughts," Buffy said, lying next to him. "Just don't try to put those thoughts into action."  
  
He kissed her on the forehead, and pulled her into his arms. "I love you Buffy."  
  
"I love you too," she said, snuggling into him.

* * *

Buffy wasn't feeling very upbeat that day as she walked into her Creative Writing class. Her earlier talk with Riley had somewhat depressed her. She hated telling him that she didn't want to have a family, when she knew he was dying to get started. He was twenty-four, and to him that was settling down time.  
  
But Buffy wasn't like that. She didn't like being settled, at least not at such a young age. _Give me a chance to be young_, she thought as she took her seat. _I'm only young once. I thought he understood that..._  
  
"Hey Buff," Willow said, sitting beside her. "You didn't need a ride today?"  
  
"No, Riley drove me," she said, keeping it simple.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Alright, if you could all open your books to page..." Spike started, but Buffy needed to talk to her friend, so she zoned him out.  
  
"I think I'm having stronger feelings than just a crush Will," Buffy whispered.  
  
"You mean..."  
  
"Yeah, I mean. It wasn't planned. I didn't wake up one morning and say "hey, today I think I'll stir up some feelings for my professor even though I'm engaged". They just sort of... Made themselves, without my permission. That shouldn't be allowed..." Buffy said.  
  
"That's how love is," Willow said. "You-You should talk to Spike."  
  
"Talk? To Spike? Willow are you insane?" Buffy loudly whispered.  
  
"Not that I know... If you talk to him... Maybe you'll find that he feels the same?"  
  
"Or that he thinks I'm a complete slut who just wants to get good grades," Buffy said, burying her head in her hands and fake crying. "What am I going to do Wills? I can't talk to anyone but you and I won't let you tell anyone."  
  
"There something you two ladies find more interesting then my lecture?" Spike asked the whispering Willow and Buffy.  
  
"Um, er, uh, no," Buffy stuttered.  
  
"Sorry Mr. Anderson," Willow piped up.  
  
"Again Miss Rosenberg, it's Spike."  
  
"Right, sorry Spike," she said, and looked down to her book.  
  
He smiled at the two before returning to his lecture.

* * *

Buffy was quickly packing her books into her bag. _Damnit. Why did I have to take all of these out?_ she thought. _Now he's gonna want to talk.  
_  
Willow had left her a few seconds ago, telling her she had to go meet Oz. Buffy had told her it was okay, but was cursing herself for her slowness.  
  
"Need some help luv?" Spike asked, walking up the few steps to her side.  
  
"Um, no thank you. I got it," Buffy said, picking up her last book and tossing it into her bag before throwing the bag over her shoulder.  
  
"Could we talk?" he asked.  
  
"Uh, um... Sure," she said.  
  
_Sure? Buffy, do you want to get divorced before you're even married? You stupid stupid girl, acting like you're still in high school. Grow up will you?_  
  
"Would you like to sit down?" he asked, motioning towards the seat she had recently rose from. She nodded, and sat down, him beside her. "I wanted to speak to you about the feelin..."  
  
"I know. I mean I didn't know I was going to get these feelings for you and I can't stop thinking about you now, you're all that's on my mind and I'm starting to think that it's more then just a simple high school crush and it's something stronger then that but then I remember I'm engaged and in love and would never want to leave Riley in a million years, but then you... You... You have to be so sexy and so sweet and you _had_ to enter my life at this time and mix everything up and ugh."  
  
He stared at her, suprised at her outburt. She was out of breath from talking so fast, and realized that maybe that wasn't what he had planned on talking about.  
  
"Oh, my... I just totally... Wow," she said. "I am so sorry, I didn't... Well I thought, um..."  
  
He brought two of his fingers to her lips to quiet her, and she looked down at them, then back at him.  
  
"That wasn't what I was going to say," he said. "But, it's what I was thinking."  
  
They stayed still like that, staring deep into each other's eyes, before he decided that it was now or never. Leaning in slowly, he pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. She wasn't surprised that he kissed her, she could see him making his move, but what surprised her, was that she kissed back, without any sign of hesitating.  
  
He pulled away from her, and rested his head on her forehead.  
  
"Oh my..." she said, smiling. "That sure was..."  
  
"Wrong?" he asked. "Was I completely out of line? Bloody hell." He stood up, looking panicked.  
  
She watched him pace the small stairway for a minute before standing up and walking to his side. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him quickly on the lips.  
  
"I was going to say perfect," she said, smiling.  
  
He smiled back at her and leaned down to kiss her once more. 


	6. Bronzing

kelley- lol. thank you  
  
mr. lennox- thank you i'm glad you think that :)  
  
elizance- lol, thank you  
  
rubberband- thank you too, i seem to be full of thank yous and nothing more... but, again, thank you :)  
  
sarah- thanks for your review, and your suggestion. however, i'm not sure if i'll make it so riley's been cheating on her, but i'm known for changing my mind, so, keep readin' to see  
  
teehee- thank you, i'm happy you like it. you can feel bad for riley and want spuffy at the same time, lol. as long as you keep reviewing, lol. cause you know i love 'em  
  
thank you all for your reviews, i really, really appreciate them. thank you

* * *

Buffy walked down the hallway, her apartment door in the distance, a smile on her face. The kiss she had recently just shared with Spike was one of the best she'd ever experienced. He made her feel so special with his words, and so desirable with his touch. He was everything she wanted.  
  
But then there was Riley. The man that she came home to every night, the man who she shared a bed with, and the man who showered her with unconditional love. He was everything she wanted too.  
  
She sighed as she fumbled with her keys to unlock the door. Walking inside, she closed her eyes briefly, and threw her jacket on the coat hanger.  
  
She could hear loud footsteps, and opened her eyes. Riley was walking towards her, a not so pleased look on his face, and Buffy could only begin to wonder what he was thinking.  
  
"Hi?" she said, confused.  
  
"Where were you?" he asked, kissing her.  
  
"Um... I was at school. You... You knew this," she said.  
  
"I know, but Willow called an hour ago, wondering if you were still going to the Bronze with them tonight. I told her you weren't home yet, and had figured she was with you. Then she made up an excuse and hung up much too quickly."  
  
"If you want to ask me something Riley, ask me it, don't beat around the bush," Buffy said, pulling out of his hold and walking into the kitchen.  
  
He hesitated a minute. "Are you sleeping around?"  
  
"Excuse me?" she said, spinning around to face him. "How dare you..."  
  
He looked to the ground, then back up at her. "Are you?"  
  
"No! Riley you know that I love you. If I didn't, I wouldn't be wearing this ring on my finger, would I? How could you even think for one minute that I'd betray you like that?" Buffy asked, angrily. "If anything, I should be questioning you. What with the late night calls."  
  
"That is strictly business," he said. "You know that. I'm dedicated to my work."  
  
"And I'm dedicated to you," she said, walking over to him. "I'm dedicated to us."  
  
He sighed, and kissed her forehead. "I know. I'm... I'm sorry for accusing you of... I wasn't thinking. It's the lack of sleep. I've just been... I'm sorry."  
  
She nodded. "I understand. But Riley, just because I'm home later, and I'm not with Willow does not mean I'm cheating on you. I would never cheat on you. I love you."  
  
"I love you too," he said, leaning down to kiss her when his cell phone started to ring. He pulled back, and looked at her apologetically before reaching into his pocket and pulling it out. "Hello? Yeah, but... Right now isn't such a good time. Oh, now? Umm..."  
  
"Do whatever you have to do," Buffy said, wrapping her arms around herself.  
  
"Are you sure? I can..."  
  
"No, go. Your job is important," she said.  
  
He smiled and kissed her quickly on the cheek. "I'll call you when I get there."  
  
She nodded and watched as he grabbed his jacket before leaving. Buffy sighed and headed toward the bedroom. Why had she lied to Riley? She cheated on him. She kissed Spike.  
  
Was kissing considered cheating? If that's all that happened... If that's the end...  
  
_That's the end_, she thought, sitting on her bed. _I won't see Spike again...  
_

* * *

Buffy walked into the Bronze, and looked around for her friends. She spotted Willow and Xander at their usual table, and pushed through the sea of people to get to them.  
  
"Look, it's Buffy," Xander said. "Hey Buff."  
  
Buffy sat down in between the two and smiled at Xander. "Sorry I'm late guys."  
  
"Don't worry about it Buffy," Willow said.  
  
"So, how's the engagement life treating you?" Xander asked.  
  
"Oh... It's the same as it was yesterday when you asked me. And every day before that," Buffy said, smiling.  
  
"What can I say? I'm a man of routine (a/n: that's not the word, but i can't think of it!! you know what i mean right? right?)."  
  
"Where's Anya? She's not by your side," Buffy said, talking about Xander's girlfriend, who rarely left his side. Buffy found her to be annoying sometimes, but also a good person to have around when you wanted to have fun. "I thought you two were connected by the hip."  
  
"Oh haha. Like you and Captain Cardboard are any different," he said. "She's at home if you must now. She wanted to catch up on her reading."  
  
"Aha, so you two had a fight," Willow said.  
  
"We did not have a... Okay yeah, maybe a small one."  
  
Buffy laughed, and looked around at her surroundings, zoning herself out from her friends' conversation. She was scanning the crowd, looking for no one, when she saw a familiar face, Spike. He noticed her too, and smiled at her. She tried to pretend like she hadn't seen him, and her heart melted when she saw the hurt look on his face.  
  
"Buffy?" Xander asked, waving a hand in front of her face. "Should I call 911?"  
  
"Huh? What? Oh... Uh, sorry... Zoned out for a minute. What?"  
  
"Me and Xander are going to go dance, do you want to come?" Willow asked.  
  
"Oh, um... No thanks. I think I'm going to sit this one out," Buffy said.  
  
"And miss all the fun?" Xander said, standing and offering his hand to Willow.  
  
"I'm sure there will be lots more fun for me to join in on later. For now, I am content here, sipping on my drink."  
  
"You don't have a drink," Willow said, pointing to the bare table.  
  
"Right... I mean, I'm going to go get one, and then come back and sit contently on this stool and drink it," Buffy said, standing. "Have fun you guys."  
  
Buffy smiled at her friends before heading over to the bar. She ordered a simple coke, and placed her money on the table. Taking the drink from the bartender's hand, she was on her way back to her table, when someone stepped in front of her.  
  
"Avoiding me luv?" he asked.  
  
"N-No... Why would you say that?" she asked, walking past him and over to her table. She sat down, and he sat down next to her.  
  
"Well, things like that for one," he said. "I understand your reasons to dodge me pet. But I just want to talk."  
  
"That's what you said earlier... And we did more then talk..." she said.  
  
"That is not entirely my fault," he said. "You were the one who admitted her feelings. And you can't say that was all a lie and deny me now."  
  
"Spike, I'm engaged. I can't... I can't be doing this," she said. "It isn't right."  
  
"Is denying your feelings right, then? Cause you seemed pretty sure about them when you told me." He sighed. "Just a dance then? I'll ask of nothing more. Just a dance."  
  
She hesitated a minute, but nodded and stood up. He took her hand, and led her into the center of dancing people. She looked over at Willow and Xander who were jumping around, not concerned about the people around them and smiled at them.  
  
Slowly, she started to relax, and gave in to the music.  
  
"Isn't that Buffy?" Xander asked, pointing to her dancing.  
  
Willow turned, still dancing, and looked to where Xander was pointing. "Uh, um, yeah..."  
  
"Who's that with her? It doesn't look like Riley."  
  
"Oh no Buffy..." Willow said softly as she stopped dancing.  
  
"Who is he?" Xander asked. "Why is he such a no?"  
  
"Xander, that's Spike. Our professor."  
  
"Professor? You mean at your..." Xander said. "Buffy's dancing with her teacher?!"  
  
"She told me not to tell anyone, but she... She sorta likes him. I guess he..."  
  
"I have to stop this," Xander said, starting to walk over, but Willow grabbed his arm. "Why are you holding back? She's an already taken woman. Younger then him. She can't be... No."  
  
"Xander," Willow said. "She knows what she's doing. And if she doesn't... Well, we have to let her make mistakes. That's how she learns."  
  
Xander sighed, and relaxed. "But what if she gets hurt?"  
  
"Then you can kick his ass," Willow said, smiling.

* * *

a/n: sorry that i cut it off, but the next chapter i'll continue from here. or somewhere around it. 


End file.
